To use a golf metaphor, a very good round for Peter

Sorry for the delayed blog post, pjvfb lovers. We were selfishly suffering from pink eye, high humidity and automobile maintenance. Now back to...

Peter.

After a week of utter bullshit, the bitch with the beard is back--and how! We feel like taking off our shirts and painting giant letters on our chests that spell P-E-T-E-R-J-O-H-A-N-D-S-O-M-E.

Did you see that audition tape? And what an a--hole Peter was? Just wasting that guy's time. WASTING. And everybody else's time. Just so we, the fans, can escape this crazy, mixed up world for three minutes and three seconds of vlogging bliss. Is there a way to fight for more vlogs like this? Cause sign me up for another tour, Sergeant Vlog.

Let's all watch the fun right now.

And again.

Once more.

And again.

Last time. Here we go.

Again.

Question: We were we the only ones who thought after we clicked play, Did we actually click play? Because the opening title shot, with the aquamarine words AMERICA THE VERY, VERY BEAUTIFUL... A SAMPLE on black background, was so -- how do we put this -- ominous. And ghostly.

Now, for the comedy highlights.

1:27:00

Peter (to Kenny): Would you mind combing your hair to the right, if we had you do that? Aw, yep. You could do it.

(We're not positive -- and we're having the research staff look into it -- but we think this is the first instance of anyone combining the two words "aw" and "yep." Many an "aw" and "yeah." But an "aw" and "yep"? Feel free to write in!)

1:32:00

Peter: Jill, would you hold this in front of (Kenny's) face while he's wearing that hat. Hold it next to his head.

Guy Riding Peter's Coattails To Stardom: A little closer.

Peter: A little closer... Oh my god.

G.R.P.C.T.S.: This is great.

Peter: That's uncanny.

(We want you to go to a quiet place and just let those lines happen. Don't make them yours. Just be with them. Inhabit the space.)

2:16:00

(Kenny strumming the guitar while making the da-na-na-na-na-na-na bionic sound effect from Six Million Dollar Man. With his mouth.)

Peter: That's awesome. You can definitely be... Colonel Steve Austin. You're the first person we've seen that's actually kind of gotten that. And really done it right. Slow motion da-na-na-na-na-na-na. And do you just do that the whole time?

(Rhetorical question? Or genius set-up?)

Kenny: So I don't really have to play guitar?

(Reel him in, Pete.)

Peter: Oh no. Because if you played you'd be interfering with the band.

2:14:00

Shadowy Villain (demurely): No, I'll still bet on the Sasquatch.